A Little Spark of Joy at 12 AM

        

        In the month of May this year, I was given the job of my professor to be her layout artist for her upcoming language activity book. I am not very knowledgeable with designing and organizing books or texts but I took the job anyway. My professor exploded in joy after I agreed to her offer and the enthusiastic giggle and gratitude I heard from her during the phone call still sticks in my heart up to now. I am not getting paid much but I am already fulfilled in helping her finish this book. It is what keeps me busy and distracted from my chaotic mind in this time of pandemic.

        Tonight at 12 AM, I am currently editing Lesson 4 and to my surprise, my professor had used my name as an example to one of her activities.


Translation:
    (happy)    2.  Kate is ___________________________ than her classmates.

Answer:
    (happy)    2.  Kate is happier than her classmates.

        In the middle of listening to depressive songs and ruminating about how bad my life is going, I scrolled down to this little precious jewel. It feels so rewarding to have my name in this book and to think that she used me as an example as someone who is happier than the rest of 'my classmates'. She knows I struggle with MDD (Major Depressive Disorder) and anxiety and yet she had made me a happy person at least in this example.

         I can only conclude that she keeps a desire for me to heal and become happier. It warms my heart to know that she cares for me and showed it to me in this most unusual way.

P.S. I had to write this because someday I will go back to this very same page and by that time I might have already forgotten this little joyful moment. This will serve as a reminder for me that even at my lowest and loneliest times, there are hidden gems for me to discover and for it to prove that I am not alone.

God, thank you.
        
P.P.S. The first photo I used is lyric fan art I made in 2015 of Owl City's song "Beautiful Times". I had put my name and tumblr blog URL as watermark under the text in the photo. Unfortunately, that blog is already deleted by tumblr. Not sure why :'(

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