A letter to the 14-year-old me


Dearest Kate,

Hello! It is me, the same person but is already 20 years old and I have just read the letter you wrote for me. Just about time, eh? Anyway, I hope this letter finds you well just in case the present (this current reality of mine) would make its way to the past.

To be perfectly honest, it's such an amazing coincidence that you wrote me this letter when I needed it the most. You are so sweet and I wish my heart is still as pure enough to absorb it. But you are right. I have changed. I have grown matured as I now have experienced seeing the world in another perspective - through the eyes of a person who has done enough and have gone through enough in her 20 years of existence.

I am aware that I am not yet as mature as the world expects me to be. Some habits have retained while some part of me had improved. I am still an introvert, quiet, and reserved - with privacy issues and excessive concern for her digital footprint. 

As you see, I came back to actually delete this blog that I have made. But after sharing this to Micah and Ely, they have convinced me to keep this blog since this is where I had documented some parts of my life. So to comply with my privacy consciousness, I will only remove photos of me and other sensitive information about me. Geez, 14-year-old Kate! How were you not so cautious back then? Aren't you aware that trolls and hackers could easily track you down on the web and phish out the information you have just provided about yourself? You just made yourself an easy bait and today I am changing that.

So, anyway, to answer your questions, as of now it's 4:13 am and I can't sleep, and yes, I do have a boyfriend. No, I have not yet met Henry Barrington and I don't think I stand a chance since he is no longer in the choir. And no, I haven't met Libera yet (sadly), but I promise you I'll get to see Libera before I leave earth and I am working my way through. I haven't finished schooling yet and I still got two more years to go (so far, since school might be suspended for a year or so due to Covid-19). I didn't improve my math skill and I'll never try it... but I have improved my art, writing, and speaking skill. There are no flying cars in 2020 yet. Have I survived World War III? If you consider this pandemic as a bio-war then this might be World War III, and no, I haven't survived it YET 'cause it is not yet finished. There is not yet any vaccine that has been developed (by the time I am writing this) to end this bio-battle. It is not yet the end of the world because the world is still fighting to survive. Am I dead? I tried. Are there changes in my life? Uhh. Am I rich? I'm still a student with no job.

Thank you for motivating me to survive 2020. We will all make it!

I do miss the 14 year old me. The callowness, the enthusiasm, the passion, my mental health, and all that I once possessed but have lost now. Someday I'll find my way back.

As for my conclusion, I just want to say that you should learn to conquer all your fears. Get out of your comfort zones. Get up and socialize! And don't date anyone at the age of 16. Trust me, it's a trap. Wait until you're 19 because that's the time you'll get the right one. Also, learn to control your emotions and don't let it control you. Be stronger than who you think you are because the only competitor you have is yourself in the past.

That is all. Stay strong!

Truly yours,
Katgreir Erisdil


P.S. I am still a huge fan of Libera and 3 days ago I watched their online mini concert. I started being a fan of them when they were all older than me... now they are all younger than me.


A digital fan art I made of Romeo Tessei playing his recorder.

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